I hate when people think im innocent. Like no im not fucking innocent I snuck into an R rated movie when I was 16.
am I sick from anxiety or am I actually physically ill? a memoir by me
am i lazy or horribly depressed: the sequel
does everyone hate me or am I just very insecure: the completion of the trilogy
How do I make friends when im home schooled and never leave the house
when you unzip a guys pants while he has a boner does it pop up immediately like a wack-a-mole or does it slowly rise like dracula from his coffin
neither. the penis does not exist until you summon it through a series of mystic chants and riverdancing
In the United States they don’t say I love you they say “you got kik?” And I think that is beautiful
IT’S BACK OH MY GOD
I’M FUCKING CRYING
THE FUCKING TAMBOURINE ONE THOUGH
We should make a band
THIS IA AMAZING
Guys look it’s The Strokes
I bet their music is orgasmic
1. Stop faking your fucking orgasms. Society already tells young men that they run the fucking universe - if they can’t turn your cunt into a shooting star then for god’s sake, let them know about it.
2. Once you’ve stopped faking your fucking orgasms, use this newfound honesty throughout the rest of your life - stop ordering coffee you don’t actually like; stop sitting at a desk and allowing people to treat you like shit in the hopes that a meek attitude will earn you a promotion (it won’t); stop telling people they can finish your food when you’re not actually done yet. These may seem petty, but they add up, just like every orgasm you didn’t actually get to have.
3. If you wanna dance all night, dance all fucking night. Dance all night even if you have work in the morning. The worst that will happen is you’ll drink RedBull all day and look like a zombie - pass it off as a head cold to the real zombies you work with and flick through the embarrassing photos you’re being tagged in as you pretend to take a shit for some peace and quiet. I promise, you’ll remember dancing all night in ten years, not the suspicious way your boss looked at you that morning.
4. If your ass looks big in that, that’s a good thing.
5. You will never be as young as you are this second. Embrace it.
6. Embrace the fact that you’re going to get older. Ask your boyfriend if he will still love you when you’re seventy and your tits are down to your knees. Look forward to this time - seventy year old women are allowed to do pretty much whatever they want, and no-one can stop them. You can carry candy in your bag and not share it with a single soul. You can stay home all day and cross-stitch expletives onto handkerchiefs for your grandchildren and slip them under the table out of sight of the people you raised. You can drink whisky at 10am. Every phase of your life is going to be amazing for different reasons. Embrace that.
7. A lot of people will pretend to love Bukowski. Don’t pretend to love Bukowski if you don’t love Bukowski. It’s overplayed and no-one will mind if you actually like Virginia Andrews instead - the people who do mind are boring."
- Some more little life lessons, by Daisy Lola. (via spearmintblonde)
“It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Fucking Deathwish, Mom”
“I Never Told You What I Do for a Living, Mom”
“This Is How I Disappear, Mom”
welcome to the black parade, mom.
You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison, Mom
Shoutout to the girls gettin chub rub but walking like your life isn’t falling apart because your inner thighs are on fire
i want kids but im scared they’ll blame me if theyre ugly
Just tell them they are adopted
You drink about it, smoke about it, don’t talk about it."
- (via acidmindfuck)
- if a man says you’re ugly, he’s being mean.
- if a woman says you’re ugly, she’s envious.
- if a little kid says you’re ugly, then you’re ugly.
THE GIRL I BABYSIT LITERALLY JUST CALLED ME UGLY OMG HELP.
every single person who reblogs this
will get “doot doot” in their ask box
I WANT TO KNOW YOUR SECRETSERIOUSLY THOUGH WHAT ARE YOU
I GOT THIS AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK
there are over 128,000 notes and i still got one
I GOT A DOOT DOOT AND THIS HAD LIKE 700k NOTES